Friday, July 30, 2010

"You win some, might get lucky now and then...now i'm rambling through this meadow, happy as a man can be, think i'll just lay me down, under this old tree...on and on we go, through this old world a shufflin', if you've got a truffle girl, you can go trufflin'"( Get Lucky, by Mark Knopfler

i had an almost normal day today! i took my dogs for a walk, and i walked my 1 & 1/2 miles. of course, i was pretty tired when i got back home, but not as much as i thought i would be. i also watered all of my plants- all of the beautiful flowers my husband planted for me, both on the porch and outside in the front yard. there were lots and lots of butterflies. my favorite is this little greenish-white butterfly. it is always with a mate and they seem to play about as much as get nectar from my flowers.i will have to look up the name. it is small, and cute rather than beautiful like a monarch. i have always appreciated the beautiful scenery around me, but now things take on a different meaning. i guess cancer does that to a person. i will never be the same, but it is really good in a lot of ways. i do not take things so much for granted. people, either.

i have so enjoyed writing this blog. it has been my lifeline, literally. i am not sure how long i will continue writing. i mean, are people still interested? i want to help others deal with this situation, and it has of course helped me tremendously. my daughter said she wanted me to keep writing. she said, i'll read your blog, mom!! and she does- every day, as does my husband. i am just in a waiting period( again). i do not have any new information to share. i have decided to give my doctor until next Wednesday to get back to me. then, i will call until i get an answer. either she will tell me the results on the phone, or i will go down there. i have an appointment for a ultrasound the end of September ( i mean, what is there to see in my neck now? this is confusing to me.) but i can not  wait two months for my "results show". i want to get the results, good or bad, before i go back to work. i got the news i had cancer when i was at work. i literally fell apart. i had to go home. i do not want this to happen again. i can deal, i just need a little time to work things out and decide on a course of action. i just need to get my attitude on.

i think that i have identified the greenish-white butterfly in my garden. it is a Florida White, i think. it has a range from Florida to New York, and prefers shaded thicket interiors to glades or open sunny spaces. ( me,too). look for it- you might have it in your yard,too.

10 comments:

  1. I just don't think I could wait till next week! Keep us posted but I'll call anyway. Love Liz

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  2. I think you should call--it is too long to wait a week--I know what I go through when that happens...Linda

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  3. I will continue to read so please keep writting. I am in day 2 of seclusion. My neck is very sore today and I am not liking this much at all! I am hopeful tomorrow will be better. My scan is this coming Friday. I am curious to know how long you will have to wait for results.

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  4. to vancencyndi: i hope you are feeling better soon. try some sour lemonade- it helped my neck, which was very sore the second day, but felt much better by the third day. the seclusion was the hardest thing, but i was scared of making anyone sick, so i followed the rules.did you have nausea? how many milicuries did you get? i got 150 because it had spread to some of my lymph nodes in my neck. i wish you the best and will say a prayer for you. you can email me at"dreamfields4ever@aol.com if you have any questions. good luck!!

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  5. i think you should keep writing too. i have enjoyed following along. (although admittedly i have read most of the entries backward through time) --i'm so happy you are improving! stay strong--alice

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  6. Bea,

    Keep writing. You are the best source of hope that I have found on the web and I am not kidding. So many sites give you such gloom and doom reports it makes you scared to death. Thank you,Thank you for the laughs that you have given me and most of all the hope that you have given me. I go to the oncologist on Tuesday to find out my plan of action. My husband's friends wife had her complete thyroid removed and they found cancer cells but the oncologist told her she didn't need the RDI treatment. Something in my gut tells me that even though they are the doctor, it's my body and I don't want to have to wonder for the rest of my life if I don't have the treatment if I have cancer cells floating around. So I may insist on it if they tell me I don't need it. What do you think? it's scary to have to go through this because no one understands what it is like to try and be "normal" but always have this on your mind. Again, keep writing Bea because you have alot of friends out here who have come to love you and love to see what's going on.

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  7. Oh what, you're not going to mention your delinquent son that doesn't read your blog? Regardless of my tendencies towards being a slacker and a little absent minded, I think you should keep writing. It's obviously good for you and others- plus you're just good at it.

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  8. to harlygrl62: for me it was the best decision to take the RAI- side effects were not so bad. when i was deciding whether or not to do it, because i had read that it may cause an increased incidence in breast cancer later on, i read something in the thyroid cancer handbook. the author is a cancer survivor- she had her thyroid removed along with the lymph nodes in her neck. she decided to do the RAI because she said" better to be alive now, and be extra diligent with mammograms,self exam,etc later" . that did it for me. i want to do all that i can to beat this cancer thing. i owe it to myself and my family. my endo recommended the RAI, as did the radiologist. i would seriously consider it and if the doctor you see does not recommend it, get a second opinion.good luck to you and let me know how it goes!! and thanks so much for your comments- they mean a lot to me.

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  9. one other thing: my endo told me that even the most skilled surgeon would not be able to remove all of the cancer cells. that is why she wanted me to take the RAI- it is insurance you might say. to me it was the right decision.

    to dylan: thanks for finally reading my blog!! you are a sweetie pie.

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  10. Please do keep writing! Love your blog!

    Obviously, your sense of humor runs through your family! :)

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