Friday, July 16, 2010

" Oh, we're half way there, Oh, livin' on a prayer; Take my hand and we'll make it, i swear, Oh, livin' on a prayer" ( Jon Bon Jovi)

i guess i am just half way there. but better than being at the beginning.most of the time i do feel like i am living on a prayer. it has been such a roller coaster ride. i have been told different things- like the cancer in my lymph nodes. i have had four different answers on that one! but as i said, the radiologist had the pathology report and said that i did. that is why my I-131 dose is going to be larger than i had expected. it seems i do not know exactly what to expect any more. it seems like i am going where "no woman has gone before" to ( sort of)  quote james kirk. of course, this is just new territory for me.

when my husband and i were talking to the radiologist, and he was going over everything, i thought, is he talking to me? is there someone behind me,maybe, that he is referring to? i am glad that my husband was there as back up. i zoned out a time or two, it just seemed like too much. i remember when my doctor called me at work, before my surgery, and told me that i had cancer. do you remember that gary larsen cartoon, where he is talking to his dog ,ginger? it had one frame that showed him saying" bad dog, ginger, you got in the trash, don't  ever do that again, ginger" to paraphrase. but what the dog heard was" Blah,blah,blah, ginger, blah,blah,blah, ginger" it was sort of like that with me. what i heard was" Blah,blah,blah,CANCER,blah,blah,blah,CANCER."  i am a health care professional, for heavens sake. i am used to dealing with issues in health care. but of course, when it is you,it is a whole new ball game.

so i am going to work my week-end, hopefully i will not crash too much on saturday- it is a 10& 1/2 hour day. ( i'll have to bring my mat to take my nap on,hahaha ) Sunday is a better, well, easier day, usually. we are only open 8 hours. then i am off to see the wizard on monday. i do not think he has anything in his bag for me ( a new thyroid,perhaps?) but hopefully he can work some magic on those pesky, rogue cancer cells.


  1. I have always wished for a new thyroid gland too....Linda

  2. Bea,

    I know all of us here wish you the best! It's been nice to share the journey with you. It's encouraging to me to see the humorous side of things when I read your blog. Thanks for the laughs. You should write your own book it would be a hit. Take care and know that you have lots of people in your corner who are praying for you.


  3. Off to see the wizard, indeed! Just keep telling yourself it's better than chemo. I will sure be praying for you as you undergo the RAI. My experience was unusually awful, so I know what you are up against. Can't wait to hear how you fare! Hopefully it will be positive. God bless you!

  4. Sending up prayers for you today as you visit the wizard!