"Trust yourself, you know more than you think." Dr. Spock

before the birth of my first child, i purchased the gold standard in childcare- THE BOOK by Dr. Spock. out of all of that information, the advice that stayed with me through out the years  was to trust yourself, you know more than you think. a mothers intuition, i guess. i also think that people know more about their health  conditions than we sometimes will admit.

when i went to see my surgeon for the last visit, i felt that he was not being exactly straight with me. he seemed to not make very much eye contact, and a few things he said did not ring true with me. i did not say anything, i thought i would appear paranoid, but it continued to bother me. when i went to see my endo, she did not have the pathology report as yet. she called to try to get it while i was there, but his office was already closed. so today, i went to see the radiologist who will be treating me, and i got a big surprise. he had the full pathology report . i did have cancer in my lymph nodes after all. it was in the ones around my thyroid. because of that, i have to have a larger dose of the I-131 than i thought. instead of 100 milicuries, i will have to get 150. also, he said that i should have had a chest x-ray, because thyroid cancer moves from the thyroid to lymph nodes,then to the lungs and bones.

so, on the 19th of july, i get a chest x-ray, full CBC ( blood profile), and an injection of thyrogen. then on tuesday, i get another injection of thyrogen. wednesday  is when i get the I-131. thursday, i rest, i guess,haha, then friday i have more blood work done. the following week, i have my full body scan. it sounds silly, but i was afraid that it would be an enclosed  scan, like an MRI. i was really dreading that part. but it is an open "scanner". i hope it gets a good picture,though. i guess i will be ready for my "close up".

also, i found out that i will not be able to go back to work  until august, 8th. i thought it would be august,1st, but the radiologist said 2 weeks, 2 days from the I-131. it is not safe for other people. i would have to have a 6 foot  buffer zone on all sides of me. we have about, maybe, 6 inches, and i am NOT kidding where i work. also, there are young women of childbearing age there. a lot of my customers hug me, so i have to stay out until i am sure i am not glowing.

so i had a feeling something was not exactly right, but i guess that things are progressing as they would have anyway. i will just have to remember to trust myself- when i have a bad feeling about something, i need to act on it.