my husband and i are working all week-end, but come Monday, we are going out to a movie. this may not seem like a big deal, but it will be the first time that i have been anywhere ( except to the grocery store to scare small children, of course!) since my surgery. my scar looks pretty good- especially compared to what it looked like after my surgery ( as i have said, imagine bride of Frankenstein). now i look like maybe a distant cousin of the Frankensteins. the surgeon made his incision " in the natural fold of my neck", and now it is more pink than red, i guess. it looks better in the morning. by afternoon, i look a little like i have swallowed a rather large golf ball.this would be the numb area i was talking about. it was where my thyroid and lymph nodes once resided. i apply vitamin e oil to this area twice a day. as i said, my surgeon said nothing would do any good, scar wise, but i think the vitamin e helps, and it just feels better. my skin is more elastic, and is not as tight.
when i got my "cancer news" my life changed forever. i was devastated for a few days, scared, and depressed. but i decided to be in control of my cancer instead of it controlling me. i read all that i could, and writing this blog has been immensely helpful. even if things go well ( and i am hoping that they will) and i do not have any cancer anywhere else in my body, i know that it will be a while before i can let go of the cancer . i think that it will always be present in what i do and say.in some ways, it is not a bad thing. i am calmer at work; small things do not get to me as much. as i have said, i try to take the time to notice life's goodies: great sunsets, flowers, birds,etc. i appreciate my family time and good food. simple stuff, really.
so come Monday, my husband and i are stepping out to a movie. i am not sure which one we will see- probably not toy story 3 though- too many children!!
Hi Bea, I found your blog on Mary Shomon's site. Thank you for sharing your story. Back in 1994 when I was diagnoised with thyroid cancer, support like this wasn't available, I was so clueless I just did what the doctors told me, and unfortunatly they didn't tell me about the weight gain or how tired I would be after surgery and RAI treatment. I have stuggled with the weight and exhaustion now for 16 years. But thanks to Mary Shoman, a sweet girl named Molly that also has a blog and now YOU I feel motivated to finally make a change in my life, I am determined to lose this weight. After all I am a cancer survivor 16 years now and I have been blessed with two beautiful daughters age 11 and 9. I wish you all the best and I am thankful to you for sharing your story. God Bless, Jennie
ReplyDeleteHey Bea, I'm also a cancer survivor. 10 years. My suggestions are to listen to your body and if that bed or couch calls your name ANSWER IT!!!! Rest when you can, go when you have to and make it a point to play! Play any time you can and really laugh at least once a day. I had the BIG RAI, then a tracer dose every 6 months for 5 years and now am on an annual scan. I've done the getting off all meds for 18 days (that's my level....from 0 to over 40 in 18 days), Thyrogen shots and the PET scans. NO CANCER!!! Yea........ Good Luck and keep up your journaling. You do have followers.....but remember some of the followers are just too tired to make comments. haha
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