"The Big C "

i was intrigued with  the new show about cancer, called " The Big C". Laura Linney is a really good actress, and the idea was something different, i thought. my daughter was worried it would upset me to watch it( how sweet) so she screened it for me. she decided that maybe i should not watch it. i mean, it is a pretty depressing premise: a woman has stage four melanoma, has only a short time to live, and does not want to tell any of her dysfunctional family members. she goes about  doing some things that she has always wanted to do, for example, putting  a swimming pool in her front yard. i decided to watch the show, and if it was upsetting i could always turn off the TV ( a novel  idea!). actually, it is very funny, in a macabre sort of way. the actors are very good, and there are some very funny scenes- at one point, she shoots a school bus with a paint ball gun so that she can get her son off. she does not want him to go to soccer camp, but wants to spend the summer with him doing fun things.

i of course thought about my life up to now. i have lived a pretty conservative one. i have worked and then come home and taken care of my family. the only partying that i have done is to attend  birthday parties for the kids, or other family events. sounds pretty boring, but actually i am very happy. i wish that i would have had more fun, and not worked so much( i think everyone thinks that). i love every minute i have spent with my children, and always look forward to spending more time with them. since they are now married and live away from home, it makes the time spent with them even more sweet. i have thought about doing some things that i have always wanted to do, but i can not come up with very much. my husband and i are probably going to take a long trip next summer and i am looking forward to that. as far as how i go about living my life, well, i just keep on the same path. the only difference, is now i try to notice more, and definitely appreciate more of the goodness around me.

cancer is not a discriminator. it is an "equal opportunity destroyer." no matter who you are, young or old, rich or poor, you can have cancer. the point is, i guess, how you decide to handle things.i get depressed sometimes, but basically i try to make the best of things. i realize how lucky i am to have supportive family members. i may not have a paint ball gun, or dig up my front yard and put in a swimming pool, but i am enjoying my life. isn't that what matters most?