Friday, June 10, 2011

gee, maybe i am back to "normal" now

we have just finished a three month, well closer to four month, house remodel project. i have been so exhausted that i began to worry that my cancer was back! then i realized a few things: 1) i am getting older- not a bad thing considering the alternative and 2) my thyroid has flown away, and no matter how well my thyroid medication works, it is just not quite the same. i need to be more patient with myself, and realize that i can not work as hard as i did when i was in my twenties( and i had a thyroid then, as well).

i think that every thyroid patient- especially a thyroid cancer patient- that i have talked to has complained about exhaustion. people just do not realize what a powerful organ that our thyroids are. and with most things in life, you really do not miss it until it is gone. when i get sad and start to miss my thyroid, i think about the cancer, and the really,really bad case of thyroiditis that i had before i had it removed. have you ever had thyroiditis? it is so painful and i was to the point that i was just hoping my temperature would be low enough that they would not postpone the surgery. thankfully things went on as planned, and of course that took care of the thyroiditis.

with the remodeling project, i would work for several hours- cleaning- we had dust EVERYWHERE. one day i was in the kitchen trying to fix an omelet before i went to work, and i almost had it out of the pan when the carpenter cranked up his saw. this great "cloud" of sawdust covered everything in the room. and i do mean everything. i can now say that i know what sawdust tastes like,though. ( not too bad, and i just thought of it as a little extra fiber). along with cleaning, i helped move boxes and the occasional piece of light furniture. the thing i did not like, was that  after a few hours my bed pulled me in like a magnet. i could not have resisted it if i had  tried. was that normal? no, not compared to  a few years ago. but i guess that this is my new normal. o.k., i need extra rest now. i feel lazy sometimes, but i still take a nap if i can. some days are better than others, energy wise, and i will admit to going to bed earlier, or sleeping later.

i exercise, yes, zumba!, and i do the best that i can. my house may not be "martha stewart" ready,EVER, but that is o.k. i work full time, even though at times i feel beyond exhausted. but i am here, and i have an awfully lot to be thankful for. i will admit that adjusting to the new normal has been tough. but i am getting there.

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