" In the middle of the night, i go walking in my sleep. From the mountains of faith, to the river so deep...............We all end in the ocean, we all start in the streams, we're all carried along, by the river of dreams, In the middle of the night." River of dreams, by Billy Joel

i live near the headwaters of theYadkin river. it looks like a creek most of the time, but after a heavy rain or flood, it looks like the river it becomes a few miles on down the road. when my children were young, we took them down to" our spot "in the river . it was there  they could swim and slide down a special ( very small) water fall. our spot had a place big enough to support our floats, and we spent many happy summer days enjoying the water.

my children also enjoyed catching crawdads( some folks call them crayfish). it was a catch and release program- my children did not want to hurt them. it was tricky to pick them up in just the right place, so that they would not get their fingers pinched in the process. they got pretty good at this- in fact, when my daughter was in elementary school, she showed some city boys how it was done! they were daring each other to see who was brave enough to do it, no takers, until she overheard their conversation. she promptly picked one up and said" it this what you want?" i think the boys all jumped back about 10 feet or so, and she returned it to the stream. i am glad that my children were raised in the country.they have a great respect for nature, and who knows when crawdad catching might come in handy?

i can see the river from my house. i feel a connection to the water, the way the sunlight plays on its surface in the late afternoon; the way the snow snuggles around it during the winter. i feel fortunate to have such a peaceful place to get better. i still get dead tired from work, but when i come home i can rest and reflect on my life. like the song, River of Dreams, i do a lot of thinking in the middle of the night.  i wish that i didn't- so does my husband ( sometimes i wake him up!)

i think that life is sort of like a river. at this point in my life, there have been many twists and turns. a lot of white water rapids, you might say. i have hung on to the lifeboat, and have not fallen out of the boat yet. i am hoping for calmer water soon. i could never have imaged what has happened to me this year! i took my dad for his check-up today with his surgeon. he is doing great- the final biopsy showed no cancer in the thyroid or any cells surrounding it. my dad must have told his doctor about me, because the surgeon asked me if i was the one with thyroid cancer. i said," yes, stage 3 papillary thyroid cancer". he said," then you are going to be o.k. now?" and i said, " well, that is the plan". i can always dream, in the middle of the night that it is.