i have used this song before in at least one previous blog, maybe two. if you are not familiar with alex boye, especially this song, i urge to you to give him a listen. recently i was reading some comments on a thyroid cancer facebook site, when i came across some discouraging and i think sad remarks from a thyroid cancer survivor. this woman would not stand up and be recognized at some function as being a cancer survivor, because we all know that thyroid cancer is the GOOD CANCER, and she felt undeserving of the title of cancer survivor. now, i will admit that i am a little uncomfortable using the term " survivor" when it relates to my thyroid or breast cancer. this is only because i like to think of myself as a warrior, not a survivor. survivor to me seems like a passive type of condition. like a person did not fight hard to get well, that perhaps they only hung on, like a rat on a sinking ship, while someone else did the hard work.
i have never been bitter about having had cancer twice. i have never said " why me?" what good would that do? i knew about the 30% chance of having another primary cancer when i had thyroid cancer. was my breast cancer caused by my RAI dose, or something else? i knew that some people think that a large RAI dose can possibly cause breast cancer. i also knew that if i did not have the RAI, i might have a recurrence of my thyroid cancer, and it might just come back with a vengeance so to speak. what to do? i was informed, and i made the best decision that i could make. i do not regret my decision in any way. in offering advice, i will say that a person needs to be informed of the risks verses the benefits of all treatment for cancer. i made sure to get my yearly mammograms, and that is how my breast cancer was discovered. it was a little more advanced, and the type of breast cancer that i had was a little more aggressive than i would have liked. but making sure to have all of the tests that are recommended for you is essential. early diagnosis and treatment are keys to treating any cancer.
another thing that worries me is when someone says that they have " survivor guilt." i have said above that i did not ask why me, nor was i bitter about having had cancer twice. but also, i have not had any survivor's guilt. i feel empathy for those dealing with conditions worse than mine. being in health care, i saw these patients on a daily basis. maybe that is why i did not feel sorry for myself. i mean, there is always someone who has it worse than you do, to be blunt. i did the best that i could do to take care of myself. i am here, why i am not sure, while some others have not been so fortunate. but i feel proud that i have tried my best. i told my husband that if either ( or both) of my cancers returned, i would know that i have fought hard, and i have done everything that i could possibly do to live. i am a cancer warrior, not a survivor!
having a good, positive attitude is so very helpful to having a good quality of life. my family doctor asked me if i was depressed. i told him no, and he looked very surprised. i understand the difference between clinical depression, and situational depression. i know that some people have chemical imbalances and can not help that they are depressed. but with me, i am able to choose to be happy. i choose happiness- i have not let cancer beat the pollyanna attitude out of me. when i was little and i would get sick, i would tell my dad " don't worry, i will feel better tomorrow." that is pretty much how i feel now, as an adult. i am not saying that things are always puppies, butterflies and rainbows for me, but i try to make the best of what happens. in other words, if i get a bunch of lemons, i make lemonade- just like alex boye does.
thyroid cancer is NOT the good cancer! i think that this will have to be said about a million more times before word gets around. or before people listen and understand. all of you out there who are thyroid cancer patients are not just survivors, you are warriors. just like me.
No comments:
Post a Comment