i had my oncology blood work and visit with the oncologist today. for those of you who think my title might be just a bit dramatic, i will try to explain how i feel every time that i have an oncology appointment . when my husband and i get near the oncology center, a huge, sprawling building- a city in itself, i get nauseous. and not just any nausea. i am re-visited by the ghost of past chemotherapy nausea. clearly not as bad, but present just the same. my hands get damp, my blood pressure rises, and my heart pounds. sometimes i am not sure how i made it through chemotherapy. my spiritual beliefs, the incredible support from my family and friends certainly helped, but when you think about it , chemo is a one trick pony show.( with the patient being the unfortunate pony). i sincerely hope that no one in my family, or any of my friends, ever, ever have to go through this! sure, the surgery was traumatic, but the chemotherapy was just unimaginable. after having said all of this, yes, i would have made the same decision to have chemotherapy. i trust my oncologist, and that was his recommendation. i am hoping to be around for a while longer for my children and grandchildren, and this was a necessary evil.
it is funny how we, or maybe it is just a "me" thing, associate smells with feelings.for example, the hand soap at the oncologist's office- very anti-bacterial of necessity- also makes me feel sick. the smell of it sticks to my skin like melted bubble gum to hot pavement. it takes me several times washing my hands at home to remove the smell. even after a hot shower tonight, i can still smell it on my hands. luckily, all the employees of the oncology center do not wear perfumes to work. that would probably be over the top for most of the patients.
i have graduated to every six months ( i was having to go every 4 months) for re-checks now. a minor victory by some standards, but major to me. my blood work is almost normal ( i will probably always be a little abby normal, to quote young Frankenstein). it is good enough to satisfy the oncologist, anyway. no swollen lymph glands, or lumps or bumps to report. so i got a good report today. one thing that REALLY made my day was the fact that instead of recommending the anastrazole ( brand name- arimidex. adjunct chemotherapy drug that blocks estrogen production) be given every day for 10 years, the doctors can go back to just having their patients take it once a day for five years. this is very big news for me. the anastrazole is causing major bone/muscle pain for me and the thoughts of having to take this for 10 years was a little overwhelming. i can handle 5 years, i think. when my oncologist told me that i was on the 5 year schedule now, instead of the 10, i almost fell off of the exam table! yippity skippity!
i have not heard back from the skin biopsy on my face, but barring any bad news on that front, my skin check, oncology blood work/doctor visit, and thyroid cancer blood work, ultrasound and doctor visits are now all on the every six months schedule. and somehow, they are now in sync. two in august, and one in september. better to get them all over with at about the same time.
my cancer journeys ( i hate that this word is plural) have definitely been a long and winding road. there have been a lot of tears shed, but not all of them have been tears of sadness. i realize that i am lucky in some very important ways, and hope to continue to be so,
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