"....sometimes the lights all shining on me. other times, i can barely see. lately it occurs to me, what a long, strange trip it's been. " Trucking, by the grateful dead

"testing time " puts me in a strange mood. i will admit it. so, here is the good news: no goblins in my neck and no thyroglobulin in my bloodstream. when my endocrinologist told me this, she looked at me and said, now why are we doing this every six months? ( here is the bad news). after a very pregnant pause, during which time i was holding my breath- so long that i think i could dive for pearls now, she said, oh i see! don't you just hate it when your doctor is reading the information on your chart and she/he gives you THAT LOOK. and by that look i mean that she is surprised that you are still  sitting there before her.

you see, i had one bad test right after my huge treatment dose of I-131. i had thyroglobulins out the wazoo in my bloodstream. little darth vaders if you will, going after other parts of my body that were just minding their own business. i found out  about this from the nurse. now everyone knows that only the doctor gives you bad news. but on this day, and yes i was at work, the nurse called to give me my results. in her defense, she did not have any idea of  the size atom bomb she was dropping on me. i was of course, upset, and left work early that day. my daughter asked me why don't they do something? can't they give you more of the I-131?   ( what a pleasant thought!). when i got my treatment dose, the radiologist told me that my dose was so large ( 155 milicuries) that they could not administer more of the I-131, even if they wanted to, for at least six months.

when i went for my results this time, my doctor told me that she had no idea what had  happened to me. to have one bad test, and then three good ones is unusual i guess. she told me that she only  has one other patient who has done the same thing that i have done-had  a bad test, and then for seemingly no reason, gone into remission. she told me that she could not begin to say that i am " cured",though, and i have to continue on with the every six months ultrasound, bloodwork, etc, i have mixed feelings about this. while i get majorly stressed out about the testing, i think that i would worry more, considering that one bad test, if my doctor did not do the testing every six months. i have not explored treatment options if i were to have another bad test. i  assume that it would mean another dose of the I-131, and perhaps radiation if it had reoccurred in my neck area.

but for now, life is good. i am going back to zumba this week( boy do i need it!) whether my knee is up to it or not. i just have to make it lower impact, i,e. not try so hard to keep up with the 20 year olds in the class. yep, i am going to wipe the dust off of the gold coins on my belly scarf, dig my exercise tee shirt out of the wash, and pray that my exercise pants still fit! i am truly thankful that i received good news, and i plan to make the best of it. i will be just fine, that is, until september.............