"....say, here i am, on the road again. there i am, up on the stage. here i go, playing star again, there i go, turn the page. ....out there in the spotlight you're a million miles away. every ounce of energy you try to give away. as the sweat pours out of your body, like the music that you play. here i am, on the road again. there i am, up on the stage. here i go, playing star again. there i go, turn the page." Turn the page, by bob seger

i guess that i have been fortunate for a while to be off of the "thyroid-less roller coaster." i felt pretty good, and i know that it was because my thyroid levels , up to now, have been  good for me. since my endo has changed my dose though, i feel like i have a one-way ticket on the thyroid-less roller coaster, a never ending ride. i sort of feel like dr. jeckyl and mr. hyde. one day i am upbeat, have some energy, feel like my new normal and i think that people might actually like to be around me. the next day,however, i am grumpy, tired, and,well, sort of mr. hyde-ish. my husband has started asking me, " uh, honey, is it a 150 or 137 day?"( a reference to my levoxyl dose that day). no doubt he asks this so he can make " outside plans" for the day.

i am still hopeful that my thyroid  levels will level out and perhaps i will feel better, but i am not seeing it yet. i rotate my two precious 150mcg days to my two  busiest work days, so that i will have more energy and actually be able to drive home after work, haha. yesterday was a good day- (150), but i needed it to work my evening shift and it was the first of the month. (anyone in pharmacy or health care knows the horrors associated with the first of the month. it is legendary.) today is not so good. i am having a bumpy ride for sure( you could ask my husband, but he is outside working on the yard, he told me that he has LOTS of things to do out there today. ) here is the thing about being thyroid-less. if you have thyroid disease, but have your thyroid, the little guy may not be doing his job very well, but at least he is pumping out a little thyroid hormone.this makes a change in dose, while not so pleasant for sure, a little bit easier to handle. if your thyroid has up and left you, you depend 100% on your thyroid dose to keep your body up and running.

the reason that this bob seger song  came to mind when i was thinking about this blog, is that no matter how badly thyroid patients feel, we all have to hit the road, get back on stage, and do the best that we can. i suppose that anyone dealing with chronic health issues has to be able to do this,too. one way to cope is to have a special activity- physical activity is best for me. i am still going to physical therapy in hopes of getting back to zumba class. my knee is still not 100%, but i am getting there slowly. monday when i was at physical therapy, i really got a work out. i actually worked up a sweat, and my muscles- especially my thighs( we did "zumba lunges" as my therapist called them. she knows how to motivate me) were sore yesterday and today. it was a good feeling to have sore muscles again! sounds weird, i know, but i have missed that. i know i am sooooooo out of shape that it will take a while for me to get back to where i was before my knee injury. i am hoping , just like i did when i went to my first live zumba class, that when i do go back to class, they will not need to call 911. the physical therapist told me that  when i go back to class, to only do 50%, not give it my all. now, that is something  i am NOT  sure that i can do. i might not have been the best dancer in the class, but, by golly, i danced with gusto and gave it everything that i had.

well, i have to get motivated, somehow, and get my errands and chores done today. tomorrow is a "150" because it is the third of the month ( also legendary) and i am off the rest of the week. i have another physical therapy session on friday, so i guess i  will do some more zumba lunges along with my regular exercises. it is also an "assessment day". she will determine from my progress,or lack of, how much longer i need physical therapy and when i can go back to zumba class. i hope i can go back soon- before the silver coins on my belly scarves tarnish . also, i am afraid that my husband might be making cartoon character topiaries   out of our shrubbery. that would take some time..... just saying.