i have been in a pretty dark place for several days now. there have been two deaths in my family in the space of about a week. my dear cousin lost his battle with ALS on tuesday of last week. but the shocking death was that of my nephew- a strapping, healthy, wonderful young man of 31. my nephew's death was cruel, and it was sudden. we all knew that my cousin was slipping away. that did not make his death easier, but everyone was somewhat prepared for his passing. my nephew, on the other hand, was just going about his business- working, loving his family, doing all of the things most of us do every day.
i still do not understand the answer to the question " why?" concerning these two wonderful people. i suppose that i never will. but there is a lesson, a reminder to all of us when things like this happen. i had forgotten what that important lesson is until now. there were viewings, family gatherings, funerals,etc. to get through first. i think that almost everyone, family and friends, had their brains on "automatic pilot "in order to get through all the rituals that exist so that we who are left behind can deal with loss. i know it is respectful and correct that people do certain things- receiving family and friends,attending church services, and such, but really a funeral is for those of us still here on earth -a source of comfort, you might say.
having had thyroid cancer, skin cancer, and breast cancer, i have spent quite a bit of time thinking about my life- what is important to me now and what is not. i know that some people work until they are much older than i am, but that was not the correct decision for me. while i enjoyed my work, and even felt that i made a difference in some people's lives on occasion, i decided that i needed some time for myself. so as i have said before , i retired in january of this year, and my husband retired at the end of february. we are not going to just sit around though. we are involved with our grandchildren, our children- when they need it, and hopefully we will be active in some yet to be determined way for our community. not to be political, but there is much to be done- the environment and civil rights are two important issues for my husband and me.
back to the reminder for all of us. when i get really down, i play music. all types- classical, classic rock, reggae, jazz, folk, world music, etc. in fact my musical tastes are so varied that i think i blew up the computer that amazon uses to make music recommendations for their customers. i have one criteria though- it must be good music. being really depressed today, i put some upbeat classic rock on my CD player. the song from U2 started playing " beautiful day" and those lyrics really resonated with me. yes, today is a beautiful day and we must never, ever forget this fact. it is a beautiful day, and we must not let it get away. our time here on earth is precious. live life to the fullest surrounded by those people you love, doing the things that you love.
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