Thursday, December 2, 2010

"Dancing in the Dark," part two

this song came on when i was in the Wellness center,changing clothes before my zumba class. i feel like it is sooooooooo appropriate for my situation/life now. i was so "in the moment" that i started singing along, heedless of my hoarse/squeaky voice. i can not seem to remember that my voice sounds different now. i sure can clear out a women's locker room! cancer has made me less "concerned" about what other people might think of me. this has been a blessing, a good thing for me. i still have to follow the rules, so to speak, but now i have more fun doing so.

earlier in the day i got some rather bad news from my dentist. i thought that i had an abscessed tooth- hoped that i had,actually. imagine that!! anyway, my face has been swollen,painful to the touch,along with my neck area, and beside my ear. when i had my "getting to know you" appointment with my surgeon, he did an ultrasound in his office and said that he thought that i had cancerous lymph nodes in the  right side of my  neck, along with some around my thyroid. while i was on the table, during my surgery, he biopsied them- the ones around my thyroid being cancerous,thus removed. he said that the ones in my side neck area  were not cancerous, so he did not remove them. my dentist told me that he thought that i have "something" wrong with those lymph nodes! is it cancer? infection? he made an appointment with an ENT ( ear nose throat guy) for me on Monday. i suppose he will do an ultrasound, and possibly a biopsy. I AM SO TIRED OF HAVING CANCER!! hopefully, it will be some kind of infection, and not what i fear. if it was the other side, i would not worry so much. if it is cancer, i get another trip back to the OR. and most likely another dose of the RAI- or I-131.

  i really, really  needed those endorphins, so off to Zumba! i went. i am not the best dancer by a long shot, but i am probably the most enthusiastic. i love the salsa! i can salsa with the best of them. i may not have achieved my goal of being able to dance off some of the coins on my belly scarf, but i sure can ring up some sales. cha ching!! besides those endorphins, this class has given me some of my strength back. i may be dancing in the dark, but this time i have a little night light to help me find my way home.


  1. I sure hope it isn't cancer in the lymph nodes. Could it be swelling of the salivary glands? Sometimes the RAI causes scarring and then the glands can swell and get blocked causing the neck and jaw area to swell.
    Good luck Bea

  2. Oh Bea, this is Bobette ( it says Abba Electric, don't know how to switch it & it's midnight so best not wake up hubby to fix it)
    I'll bet it's salivary glands like Karen said. That's what mine turned out to be. But it's very disconcerting to have to wait. I am so sorry. Maybe it's just the old redhead reaction to everything. Bummer having to wait over the weekend. You are not alone, we are all praying for you.
    God bless and keep us posted!

  3. thanks to both of you. i did have swelling in my salivary glands on the side that is bothering me, when i got my I-131 treatment. hope it is just that. if so, i wonder if this will be an on going problem? so many questions! i will just have to be patient until monday. thanks again for your good wishes and prayers!

  4. I have heard that the swelling in the salivary gland can happen many months after RAI. I had also heard that some cold medications can exacerbate the problem. I haven't had this problem though. Best to have the doctor look at it.

    I had a followup with my endo Monday. He is setting up my one year whole body scan. It's had to believe that almost a full year has passed since my surgery.

  5. congratulations Karen! i hope that your body scan goes well. i will explain how my situation went in my new blog- you were right,though!!