The month of May is sort of like New Years Eve for me. I will celebrate two cancerversaries this month. I will be a ten year thyroid/parathyroid survivor on May 19th, and a five year breast cancer survivor on May 22nd. So in the month of May, I reflect upon the year that I had, all that I have to be thankful for, and what changes that I may need to make ( perhaps like New Years resolutions, I suppose.) One thing that I am always thankful for is the love and support that I have received and continue to receive from my family and friends. I am a stronger person now than I could ever have imagined I would be ten years ago. I fully recognize the fact that I would not have been able to get through the diagnoses and treatments without my family and friends beside me.
Just hearing the words " You have cancer" is something very hard to explain. I suppose the first thought going on in one's head, is " Oh, no, there must be some terrible mistake!". Denial, anger, disbelief are just some of the emotions that I personally felt during the first few days after my diagnoses. But after a few days of feeling sorry for myself, I researched my cancers, and tried to come up with a plan of action. Some people feel better not knowing too much about their health. I am in the category of people who research, try to get all the facts that I can gather, then come up with a course of action. I want to be in control of my health and information is a powerful tool, in my opinion.
A person who is facing serious health issues has to become their own best patient advocate. I will give you two examples. First, when I realized that something was very wrong concerning my thyroid ( extreme fatigue being the most worrisome symptom) I changed doctors. My "old" doctor just kept telling me that it was stress and he did not order any additional tests. It took me a while, but I found a wonderful doctor who DID believe me, order tests, and well, the rest is history. I hate to think what may have happened had I not stood up for myself.
The second example, and one that I think about a lot, actually, came during my treatment for breast cancer. Two different radiologists, one who did the mammogram and resulting ultrasound, and the other radiologist who did my first biopsy, remarked that in addition to my tumors, another area in my breast tissue looked " suspicious". They did not recommend doing anything further, and I accepted that. Thank God that the third radiologist, the one who was preparing me for surgery ( a lumpectomy) looked at my X-ray and said, " Wait a minute! This area looks very suspicious. I would like to cancel the lumpectomy and do a core biopsy instead." The surgeon was pacing, the OR was calling- several times in fact- for me to be sent up for surgery. I had a few seconds to make a decision. Even though I had just met this radiologist, I trusted her completely. She told me that she treats her patients like family, and she had to do what she thought was best for her patients. She said that she had to be able to sleep at night. I cancelled the surgery and had the core biopsy. The second area was indeed a separate cancer, and a few days later, I ended up back in the surgeon's office discussing my new plan of attack- which was changed to bilateral mastectomies and chemotherapy. I am still so very grateful to this radiologist. I talked to her later and expressed my gratitude and appreciation.
I am taking extra precautions during this time of the Covid-19 pandemic. Some of the reason is that I know that I have a lowered immune system due to the two cancers that I have had. But another reason for my cautious behavior is the fact that I realize that life is so very precious. I know what it is like to be seriously ill and to feel helpless. The fact is that we all need to do our part to keep our family, friends and ourselves safe during this time. It is difficult for everyone. I miss my grandchildren and children so very much. My husband and I are fortunate that our son and his family live close enough that we can have " yard visits". We talk, watch the grandchildren play, but we do not get closer than the recommended six feet. Unfortunately, my daughter and her family live over 4 hours away, so we can only have " virtual visits". I really appreciate this technology, but I will be overjoyed when the day comes when I can really visit my children and grandchildren and get much needed hugs and kisses.
So, my cancerversaries this May come with added challenges. Even though I have some PTSD when I go for my checkups, those checkups have been postponed until later this year. That does give me pause- but I will just have to wait until it is safe to be in a doctor's office. Of course, if I were having any symptoms that made me feel concerned, I would go in for those checkups sooner. So far, so good.
This May, I will count my many blessings. I am grateful for another year that I get to spend, even virtually, with my family and friends. I appreciate good doctors and good health. I have certain challenges, but I am thankful to still be here. Thank you to those who read this blog. I hope that I have been able, and will be able, to provide good information for people who might be going through some health issues similar to mine. I do like helping people through health education and shared experiences. Writing this blog has also been therapeutic for me. Putting my thoughts down on "paper" helps me deal with my cancers.
And since my cancerverseries are so close together, I always have one big celebration. This year, it will be a little quieter. Just my husband and I will celebrate. But there will be cake! Always cake- and chocolate cake at that. I hope that everyone will be safe and well during this time.
