I am a firm believer in the power of positive thinking. Being a two time cancer survivor, I guess you could say that I have had lemons twice in my life. I will admit that at first, when I received my diagnosis-eight years ago for my thyroid cancer, and then five years later, my breast cancer diagnosis, I was not interested in making lemonade. I was angry, depressed, sad, confused- among other things. I took a little time to feel sorry for myself- to grieve for the changes and losses that my body would be suffering.
I think that when there is a diagnosis of cancer, most everyone sort of goes into a state of " auto pilot". There are doctors appointments ( of which I still have a plethora of), critical decisions concerning surgery and treatment, and what I like to call the mechanics of cancer. During this phase, the focus of one's life is mainly on what needs to be done to get rid of the cancer and hopefully make the body healthy again. A cancer patient must make a treatment plan in association with medical professionals to hopefully procure the best outcome. This is phase one, I think. In some ways, I think it is the easiest part of dealing with cancer. Sure, this is a critical phase. But just like when you take your car in to be serviced, you are trusting the professionals to do their job. One should research the doctors, other health professionals, the hospitals, and so forth. But at some point, the patient has to step aside, so to speak, and let the process of dealing with the physical side of cancer take it's course.
Phase two just might be the most difficult part- it has been for me. In this phase, the medical decisions have been made. Hopefully they have been good decisions, and the process of healing the body is well on its way. Now the cancer patient must deal with the many after effects of treatment- life changes in the body and mind. Cancer patients are changed forever. There is no going back to what our life was like before cancer. Friends and family would like for us to put our cancer(s) behind us and behave like nothing has happened. I am not one to dwell on the negative aspects of cancer, but I feel like sometimes cancer patients get the least amount of support after the diagnosis and medical treatment phase is over.
What I have had to do now, so that I can function in life, basically, has been to make positive life choices, I like to call them. Sure, I have tests and doctors appointments to deal with. There is tremendous stress with " testing anxiety" and the thoughts of recurrence. I mean, having had cancer once or twice, what is to say that it can not happen again? I really try not to dwell on this line of thinking. Yes, of course, it is natural to worry about your health, and how it has impacted yourself, your family, your friends- your loved ones. But everyone should have a life strategy going forward.
It is a proven fact that how a person thinks affects their mood and their quality of life. Given the fact that I am, for the most part, a " Pollyanna" sort of person, I have chosen to be as positive as I can be about my life going forward. I have made several choices on how I choose to live my life now. I think that this also puts cancer patients in the drivers seat for a change. So much of our lives, in phase one, have been out of our control. It is nice to be able to be in charge of what we do, and really how we feel, going forward. I will give you some examples of what I am doing differently now. This really varies from person to person, and what is right for me is not necessarily right for anyone else. But, here are a few things that I decided to do FOR ME.
Change number one: I retired earlier than I had planned. It was only a couple of years earlier, but I now have quality time with my husband, children and grandchildren. I am able to attend events that often I could not due to conflicts with my work schedule. I have also been able to do some crafts that I actually love to do, along with other hobbies that I previously did not have time for.
Change number two: I am taking better care of myself. I have changed my diet, and managed to lose eighteen pounds, which makes it easier for me to do the things that make me happy- which include playing with my grandchildren, walking, and just feeling better about my appearance. When a person goes through major surgeries, your body image can change. It can be devastating to have something like bilateral mastectomies to deal with. Anything that you can do to improve your overall body image will affect your outlook on life- believe me. It is not vanity, it is survival, in my opinion.
Change number three: this is probably the most important change that I have made . It is the practice of gratitude. Being grateful every single day for one's life. I never take life for granted anymore. I appreciate all of the time that I have with my family and friends. I am grateful for many things, and just this acknowledgment, has made me a happier person. I have found that by thinking happy, I am happy. Not to say that I do not have any depressed days, but the practice of showing gratitude has tipped the scales in my life to having a happier, more productive, more enjoyable life.
There are no guarantees in life. Who gets lemons and who does not is not something that I concern myself with. I wish happy days for everyone. But if you do happen to get a bunch of lemons, throw yourself a lemonade party. And be sure to invite me- I will help you celebrate!
